Sometimes I just have to remind myself I am not
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Update times four
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
It has been a while, I think that is good though. I was going crazy, as noted in previous post(s), and now I am much better as far as I can tell.
Most of Friday and all of Saturday was spent preparing for/enjoying my Uncle's wedding. Friday we set up all of the tables, chairs, and hanging lanterns for the reception. I was already a bit tired by then, but went back out that night to get a list of things that needed to be done, and spend the night two doors down at my grandma's so I could get up early and go right to work. I went to bed around 2am, because I did a lot of winding down, getting ready for the next day so I wouldn't have to get ready as much then, and reading. I was glad I did, because I was privilaged to have my uncle come and talk to me the way he did, and to overhear him talking to his brother-in-law (my other uncle of course), about deeper things that I have never heard him talk about before. I ended up waking around 6:45, and found it was freezing! By 8, a very very very helpful friend whom I have not spoken to since I graduated, and he just recently graduated this year, arrived and we both set out to get to work. Thank you ever so much Daniel!!!! Not that you will ever read this, but I am so thankful for your willingness to come, regardless of how awkward it was. I was so excited to have him there, his attitude and way of going about things is so great. As he said, I would do it for him-no second thoughts about it.
To move on, we got all of the table cloths, wine glasses, and napkins set out by the time he had to leave, just as Brandi, (who had helped out big time the night before as well, thank you thank you thankkkkkkk yoooouuuu!) arrived. *God's perfect timing. Brandi and I continued to work throughout the day and as the time for the wedding at the church approached, I made the decision that I was going to stay there and make sure that everything was set and ready to go and ask my grandma to watch Katy (one of the three flower girls, my uncle-the one who got married's daughter *almost 3, who I was in charge of for the day), and shared my decision with her.
You see, as I thought about it, I realized I had seen all that I needed to see at the rehersal. They are in love with each other, they are taking a step in the right direction, and my uncle revealed a deeper side to him that I always had a feeling was there.
So, with that said, Brandi stayed to help until it was time for me to get dressed for the reception. Being the system-oriented person I am, I found it hard to relinquish my reception-set up and keep up-duties, and hand them over to the staff when they arrived for the night, but I did, and took over my position as mom on hand for Katy, Katy-watch as I called it, for the rest of the night. Brandi surprised me by arriving at the reception later that evening, and what a wonderful surprise that I am so thankful for it was! I was so happy to see her. What adventures I had with Katy and the girls that stuck to her side like something both stretchy and sticky. Dinner was a wonder, she spilled a few things down her dress, luckily they were not too colored or noticible, and had a bit of a mess going, but all was great and under control. I loved it when both her and a friend around the same age decided to drink their juice boxes out of the champaigne glasses, and her friend looked to her and said, "Cheers," and they clicked glasses. The night was filled with a little over twelve small children slipping and slidding,running around and around the dance floor. By the time Brandi arrived, they were all seated on the dance floor spilling their bags of candy out to find what they liked as the toasts were made, and when dancing kicked in again, Brandi and I found ourselves with the two younger flower girls (Katy and Jasmine) in our arms, dancing the night away. It was around then, when I put Katy down for a bit, that I found Jenn (the bride) returning her to me, as she was done dancing with her and it was my job to keep her occupied and away from her. (It sounds much worse than it really was, but as I pulled Katy away from her mom, walked her to a house next door, and kept her from leaving, I realized how hard and messed up things are when children are born before the parents are married.) Katy cried for ten-fifteen minutes non stop for her mother, and I couldn't let her go. I began to cry as I prayed to God to help her. She inched her way into my lap and told me that her mommy loved her, I blew cool air on her as she began to, at last, fall asleep in my arms.
I realized learned a lot about love that night, and a bit the day before, as I walked ever so slowly back to my grandma's house with her in my arms. I made a list, most tying in with memories from the reception, but some from thoughts stemming from the making of the list:
Love is...
Love is working hard on the little things
Love is caressing The Other's hand when it's only the rehersal
Love is saying the words one somehow fears the most
Love is taking that first step as husband and wife, and never turning back
Love is facing your fears and sharing your words for those you love
Love is never ceasing to look at each other when everyone else is looking at you
Love is stealing kisses before the dance is over
Love is sharing a laugh together, over and over again
Love is never ceasing your tears for the one you love when the one you love cannot be there to hold you
Love is giving, it is never wanting, except for the best for one another
Love is good times...and bad
Love is supporting, even if everyone else is against
Love is accepting the good with the bad, knowing the difference between the two, and encouraging change and growth.
And words of wisdom inspired by our Father
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ~1 Cor. 13:4-8
I am a bit tired, more sore, but as I listen to music, I find once again the impact it has on me is indescribible. I find the overwhelming urge to fall into my Father's arms and allow Him to hold me tight. I went to church and they had a few elders come up and pray for my trip to Africa. My dad went with me today, I was happy, and I think he was too. God is working in his life, and it is very clear. He came up front as they prayed for me. We then went to my grandma's for breakfast-really almost a late lunch haha, but good times and happy days. I came home to sleep, and here I am, over an hour into writing this post.
Did you know that being bold is contageous (sp?)? If you take the chance to be bold, those that see it will find that they are more easily able to find it within them to step out as well. Trust that if you are doing the right thing, and you feel like you are the only one, you won't be for long.
I am off, because feeling and being in love like this leaves me with wanting to stop sitting, and move...run. Night all-and may you see God's love today.
It has been a while, I think that is good though. I was going crazy, as noted in previous post(s), and now I am much better as far as I can tell.
Most of Friday and all of Saturday was spent preparing for/enjoying my Uncle's wedding. Friday we set up all of the tables, chairs, and hanging lanterns for the reception. I was already a bit tired by then, but went back out that night to get a list of things that needed to be done, and spend the night two doors down at my grandma's so I could get up early and go right to work. I went to bed around 2am, because I did a lot of winding down, getting ready for the next day so I wouldn't have to get ready as much then, and reading. I was glad I did, because I was privilaged to have my uncle come and talk to me the way he did, and to overhear him talking to his brother-in-law (my other uncle of course), about deeper things that I have never heard him talk about before. I ended up waking around 6:45, and found it was freezing! By 8, a very very very helpful friend whom I have not spoken to since I graduated, and he just recently graduated this year, arrived and we both set out to get to work. Thank you ever so much Daniel!!!! Not that you will ever read this, but I am so thankful for your willingness to come, regardless of how awkward it was. I was so excited to have him there, his attitude and way of going about things is so great. As he said, I would do it for him-no second thoughts about it.
To move on, we got all of the table cloths, wine glasses, and napkins set out by the time he had to leave, just as Brandi, (who had helped out big time the night before as well, thank you thank you thankkkkkkk yoooouuuu!) arrived. *God's perfect timing. Brandi and I continued to work throughout the day and as the time for the wedding at the church approached, I made the decision that I was going to stay there and make sure that everything was set and ready to go and ask my grandma to watch Katy (one of the three flower girls, my uncle-the one who got married's daughter *almost 3, who I was in charge of for the day), and shared my decision with her.
You see, as I thought about it, I realized I had seen all that I needed to see at the rehersal. They are in love with each other, they are taking a step in the right direction, and my uncle revealed a deeper side to him that I always had a feeling was there.
So, with that said, Brandi stayed to help until it was time for me to get dressed for the reception. Being the system-oriented person I am, I found it hard to relinquish my reception-set up and keep up-duties, and hand them over to the staff when they arrived for the night, but I did, and took over my position as mom on hand for Katy, Katy-watch as I called it, for the rest of the night. Brandi surprised me by arriving at the reception later that evening, and what a wonderful surprise that I am so thankful for it was! I was so happy to see her. What adventures I had with Katy and the girls that stuck to her side like something both stretchy and sticky. Dinner was a wonder, she spilled a few things down her dress, luckily they were not too colored or noticible, and had a bit of a mess going, but all was great and under control. I loved it when both her and a friend around the same age decided to drink their juice boxes out of the champaigne glasses, and her friend looked to her and said, "Cheers," and they clicked glasses. The night was filled with a little over twelve small children slipping and slidding,running around and around the dance floor. By the time Brandi arrived, they were all seated on the dance floor spilling their bags of candy out to find what they liked as the toasts were made, and when dancing kicked in again, Brandi and I found ourselves with the two younger flower girls (Katy and Jasmine) in our arms, dancing the night away. It was around then, when I put Katy down for a bit, that I found Jenn (the bride) returning her to me, as she was done dancing with her and it was my job to keep her occupied and away from her. (It sounds much worse than it really was, but as I pulled Katy away from her mom, walked her to a house next door, and kept her from leaving, I realized how hard and messed up things are when children are born before the parents are married.) Katy cried for ten-fifteen minutes non stop for her mother, and I couldn't let her go. I began to cry as I prayed to God to help her. She inched her way into my lap and told me that her mommy loved her, I blew cool air on her as she began to, at last, fall asleep in my arms.
I realized learned a lot about love that night, and a bit the day before, as I walked ever so slowly back to my grandma's house with her in my arms. I made a list, most tying in with memories from the reception, but some from thoughts stemming from the making of the list:
Love is...
Love is working hard on the little things
Love is caressing The Other's hand when it's only the rehersal
Love is saying the words one somehow fears the most
Love is taking that first step as husband and wife, and never turning back
Love is facing your fears and sharing your words for those you love
Love is never ceasing to look at each other when everyone else is looking at you
Love is stealing kisses before the dance is over
Love is sharing a laugh together, over and over again
Love is never ceasing your tears for the one you love when the one you love cannot be there to hold you
Love is giving, it is never wanting, except for the best for one another
Love is good times...and bad
Love is supporting, even if everyone else is against
Love is accepting the good with the bad, knowing the difference between the two, and encouraging change and growth.
And words of wisdom inspired by our Father
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ~1 Cor. 13:4-8
I am a bit tired, more sore, but as I listen to music, I find once again the impact it has on me is indescribible. I find the overwhelming urge to fall into my Father's arms and allow Him to hold me tight. I went to church and they had a few elders come up and pray for my trip to Africa. My dad went with me today, I was happy, and I think he was too. God is working in his life, and it is very clear. He came up front as they prayed for me. We then went to my grandma's for breakfast-really almost a late lunch haha, but good times and happy days. I came home to sleep, and here I am, over an hour into writing this post.
Did you know that being bold is contageous (sp?)? If you take the chance to be bold, those that see it will find that they are more easily able to find it within them to step out as well. Trust that if you are doing the right thing, and you feel like you are the only one, you won't be for long.
I am off, because feeling and being in love like this leaves me with wanting to stop sitting, and move...run. Night all-and may you see God's love today.
Posted by ~Jace : 7:50 PM : 
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