Sometimes I just have to remind myself I am not

I think I am tired of people. The only problem with that is, I love people too much to continue being tired of them. So, I am stuck. God is working on me as I write though. He is clearing my head of the pressure, and lifting my spirits. Lifting the haze set in front of my eyes. I will go, I will serve. I will go, I will do the things I need to do.

I am a very system oriented person, I have gotten better as I have grown, but I never have let it go. If you give me a system, I will follow it and until I learn it very well and find something that will make it better, in even the smallest degree, I will not let myself or any other person violate the system. To give an example I always give, years ago playing with someone younger than I in Hi-Ho-Cherrios, the playmate attempted to violate the stated rules and alter them to his own, I wouldn't allow it. I know he was younger, but there was a system to be followed and I was going to follow it, and he was going to have to as well. I have grown to realize more that there are acceptions, and that people have their own individual systems to follow, which may be very different and even sometimes contradictory to my own. I bring this up, because of the aspect of stubornness. Today I went to check on a prescription my doctor's assistants told me they would fax to Savemart. They told me this in the context of trying to figure out where I usually take my prescriptions, something I didn't know, and trying to figure out what other immunizations they needed to get for me, so they told me they would send the prescription that they had to Savemart, and I consented. The rest of the conversation consisted of me discussing with them whether or not they were going to order the typhoid shot that needed to be taken with the Hep.A. shot. I told them I would call about that and get back to them. I show up at Savemart to check and see about my prescription, and there is nothing there for me. They call the doctor's office and tell me that the doctor's asistants thought I was going to pick it up, and that now they are going to fax it because they got the phone call. My first instinct was to tell them how wrong they were when I went to talk to them. To tell them how they told me they would fax it in, and at no point did I tell them I would come and pick that up. It is so hard not to argue with the people who think they are right, but they are in reality wrong, and it is something that can never really be proven because every one sees a different side of things. I once argued with someone over the possibility that he was wrong in believing I had never said something and that I could have said something he simply did not hear. I thought it over today, and I think I do not want to argue with them over something like this. I don't think it is going to get anywhere good, nor is it going to be helpful in any way. It is really something that doesn't matter in the long run, as it is easily fixed. What kind of a Christian would I really be showing them if I came in responding to their potential attitudes, and the attitude they have shown me before, with the exact same attitude they were giving me? Isn't the right thing to show them love? Not bitterness over something so frivilous in the span of life. Haven't I made a mistake before? Heck yes I have, plenty of them too. Why is fighting so often the choice made? Isn't knowing that there are mistakes made, life goes on, and that God loves both of us equally enough? I am a child of God. The God. The God who has power over anger, power over foolishness. I am one with the choice to fight, or show the love that was given to me by mercy and forgiveness.